No grammar for you!

It's official. Jen is insane.

Last night, as we were going to bed, Jen told me that my last post was flawed by my inability to follow industry standard capitalization and hyphenation. I was somewhat surprised to hear that it wasn't the content of my post that offended her, so I asked Der Führer to clarify just what it was that I hadn't hyphenated or capitalized that I should've.

Little did I know that this was not the correct course of action to take. I should've just grunted and rolled over, knowing that only trouble would come from asking, but, like they say, hindsight is 20-20.

Without hesitation, she launched into a verbal assault on my lack of understanding of the principles that guide and give structure to the English language. She demanded that I recognize that internet is not internet, but the Internet! Capitalized! With an upper case I, dammit, not a lower case i. "It's a proper noun," she kept insisting with much shaking of the fist, "Damn you, it's a proper noun! And email? That's supposed to be hyphenated, fucker! It's two words!"

I was kind of snickering at this point and that may have been what set off the full attack. I'm not sure what all was said at that point, but I believe the words "rape of the English language" and "monkey speak" were thrown in there. There were citations, people. Citations. She cites verbally. Really.

The two sources I remember were Microsoft blah blah and Chicago bla blah blah blah. I told her of my hesitation to accept anything standardized by Microsoft but she wouldn't buy it. "But it's two words," she'd cry. It was awful. I tried to explain to her that the internet hasn't been the Internet since about 1999 or 2000 when the novelty factor wore off and that email doesn't need to be E-mail because it isn't necessary to emphasize the fact that email is sent electronically. We all know that now. They're both deprecated terms as far as most tech-oriented folks are concerned. No self respecting techy is going to refer to E-mail or the Internet. It's retarded.

But Miss Braun over there next to me just kept shaking her little baby fists at me. "Rape of the English language! You're what's wrong with this country!" Eventually my laughter and quotes of "Agree to disagree" and "When in Rome" settled the matter. Although her constant huffing and shifting told me that my ignorance displeased her greatly.

Isn't living with your fiancée fun?